The ROSE that found it’s lost aroma!!

I want her to be mine; I want my love sealed for her for eternity. But it seems to be fading away; in these 10 years, I defined her as my life, my inspiration, she was the best I can have. I was spellbound by her charm. But it seems to fade away, it’s like an old rose kept as a bookmark that has lost its aroma! After all these years, when I open my diary and look at the rose, I see only crumbled petals of my love for her, the love is still around but it has lost its talisman. She did not even recognize me in all this time. I am just another guy for her in her life, but she is the only girl in my life.

I remember we met some weeks before; she was there with her friends. I didn’t know she was there. I tried to avoid her, I didn’t want my friends to make fun of me or didn’t even want to hear their comments, it peeved me. Still we went there. I know she noticed me, but ignored purposefully. Really don’t know why she does that every time we see each other by chance. That made me angry. But I cursed myself to let out my anger flow. I shouted at her loudly, she was shocked but didn’t show it at all. She came to me, we chatted for hardly 50 seconds, and I gained over myself again. She was reluctant while talking to me; I got that and waved a bye. She was back in her group. I was glad because no one knew that I was angry. I never show it. Even she didn’t know. After that I made my buddies laugh from the very jokes I made out of them only. I like to make people laugh; it keeps you surrounded by positive energy always. When she was leaving she again ignored me, thought she didn’t wanted say me bye. But what happened I don’t know she said me bye, I was happy.

I came home, was facebooking…just then my mobile beeped, a message, it was her. She sent me a forwarded message. I said a sorry to her, she asked why, I told her I shouted a little too loud, but she said it’s Ok.  But the incident was irritating me why she ignored me….why I shouted?? Why I lost my control??? Am I that bad?? Do I look bad to be introduced as a friend in public?? Am I not of her status?? What am I?? What’s so bad in me?? Am I that fat?? My mind was racing with all these all the night. I tried to sleep but couldn’t help it.

December came, it was her birthday! I wished her, she thanked me! I wanted to give her a present but even after 10 years we were not close enough that I can go to her house and present her a gift of my choice…so I bought it, but kept it with me as a memory. Since first year of my graduation, on her every birthday, I bought something for her but never had courage to give it to her; whenever I miss her, I write for her or I buy a greeting for her and keep it with me. I have a collection now! But this year was unique…

We were chatting once on fb after her b’day. I asked her am I allowed presenting her something or not…she said yes. I presented it, wrote her name with rose petals on hand made greeting by me. I said I am leaving Nagpur in august, keep this as a memory of me if you want. (And I kept this time I spent with her as the specialest, bestest memory I could have). She first hesitated but kept it. I saved her smile deep in my heart. I wrote a full poem for her. She called after some time, she was speechless. She liked my gifts and what I wrote for her, Yess it made my day!!! I was blushing akele akele. How mad I am!! But she is so beautiful, she makes me go crazy…she looks like a fairy, her nose is carved by such zeal, and her lips are watermelon, her eyes are watery black, they speak a lot. I love her cute face; her smile is as sweet and lovely as a baby.  I like when she waves her hand through her hairs. When she ties pony of her hairs she looks more prettier. I don’t know if I am right but whenever I see her she looks lost in her thoughts. I like to see her like that; she looks mature and confident then.

Ohh sorry I was talking something about fading love right? Noo I don’t think so now, I think I had cold when I was looking at that rose in my diary…the perfume was there, just I was unable to smell it. But now I see this rose has bloomed once again! There’s one fact I want to admit today, even if I want, I can never stop loving her. It does not matter if she says yes or no; after all it’s her choice. Everyone has one. I made mine, she will make her. That’s why we are called Individuals. And this makes me remember the title of new book by Nikita Singh and Durjoy Dutta, which I was reading ….IF IT’S NOT FOREVER…IT’S NOT LOVE!!!